Vinegar Doppio x Reader
by Arse1933
Summary: Doppy vists your T-Mobile in hopes of getting a new phone for his boss, but what he finds is love.


You awoke to a normal day. Poured a normal amount of coffee into your cup, and fucking booked it to work. You were late by almost two hours! What would your boss say? You could only hope it would be incoherent nonsense as the brain-splitting, mind-numbing headache that came with being a manager to a store that employed idiots like you reached terminal levels. You were really hoping. you needed this job, or you would likely be homeless.

When you walked through the doors, she was nowhere to be seen. You thanked Shaq for always looking out for you in your time of need, and stood around like you had been there for hours already. You looked bored out of your mind, like you were one second away from ripping the antenna out of the old flip phones and giving yourself a lobotomy. As it turned out, there was no reason for you to have to fake being bored, because a customer walked through the door. It's not like you hated people or anything, but goddamn if you didn't wish you could beat their heads in with a stack of SIM cards sometimes. Anyway, the little girl who walked in looked sweet enough. Her wide puppy eyes scanned the room somewhat nervously as she played with the fabric of her sweater. She couldn't be older than thirteen.

"Hello, and welcome to T Mobile." you gave her your best salesman voice. She squeaked like she wasn't expecting to be noticed. "How can I help you today?"

"Uh... Well, I was kinda looking for a new phone contract for my boss," her (her?) hands went into her bag to dig out a phone your store hadn't sold since '96, "he, uh, also wanted me to trade this in." What was this little girl working as that her boss would send her out on an errand like this? Doesn't he know minors can't sign your store's phone contracts on their own? Why did she even have a job?

"You know minors can't get phone contracts on their own right? I can trade yours, and sell you the phone, but your boss will need to come in to get the plan." you warn her. She turns her head, her face becoming questioning.

"But I am an adult." Hardly the first time you heard that. Damn kids, if they want phones without their parents permission so badly, they should just buy a prepaid one. But still, it wasn't actually her fault this time, just her boss', so you decided to be more lenient than the usual 'scram until you bring an actual adult' you usually gave those kids.

"Can I see your ID? Sorry, store policy. I can't sell to someone I suspect to be a minor." It not a policy, but your boss would probably kill you if she found out you had accidentally sold something to someone legally not allowed to buy it because they said they were.

"Oh! Um..." she dug through her bag, "I'm sorry, I think I left it at home." She gave you a blinding smile, which was very endearing, but not what you were looking for.

"Uh huh." she sensed your displeasure at her answer, and decided to look harder.

"I swear, it's on me somewhere..." at this, she seemed to have remembered where it was from the way her face lit up. She patted her front jean pockets.

"Here it is!" she managed to pull it out of her wallet, and present it to you in seconds.

NAME: DOPPIO VINEGAR

SEX: M

HAIR: RED

EYES: BRWN

DOB: 6/4/1984

EXPIRES: 4/7/2012

ISSUED: 4/7/2002

EO02IL13ELR329

You took one look at the card, then another at the girl in front of you. she was... a boy?

"You're a man?" you asked without meaning to. It wasn't really any of your business. You were just trying to live your life and work. Her eyes narrowed.

"Yeah. I'm also an adult, so hurry up and give me the phone!" You held your arms out in front of yourself, you didn't mean to offend him. You just genuinely thought he was a little girl. You took one last look at the ID, confirmed the birthday would add up to over 18, and turned to look at the phone.

"I am very sorry for my rudeness, I hope you can forgive me." you apologize. He had a blank look on his face for a second, like he didn't understand what you said, then he smiled widely.

"It's okay! To think, someone would take the time to apologize to little Doppio, myself..." he trailed off. You thought it was kind of weird of him to refer to himself in the third person, but whatever. "I am very happy!" And you were happy for him too.

"I can give you 8000 Lire for your old phone. Sorry."

"What!? 8000 only!? Why!?"

"Because it's broken. Its only value comes from its potential as scrap metal."

"Oh." He seemed really down.

"Well, about those new phones, what's your budget?" He had a vacant look in his eyes. "Sir? Do you know how much your boss wants to pay for his phone? You can't buy a contract from us unless you buy a phone from T Mobile."

"I'm sorry. I think I forgot..." He started making _ring, ring,_ noises with his mouth, he pulled one of the phones you have on display up to his face, "Boss? How much should I pay for your phone?" he asked the phone that can't currently receive calls. You wonder if it's some type of new memorization technique, but can't imagine it possibly working for anyone. Well, besides for the creature in front of you, but you thought maybe he wasn't a normal person with the way he whispered conspiratorially into the callless phone. "Okay! Love you, bye~!" He 'hung up' and returned to his conversation with you. You thought it was sweet he was reminding himself that he loved him.

"He said he wanted the Danger Hiptop." You chuckle to yourself.

"I see. One Sidekick coming right up." you went to grab the Sidekick and ring up his order.

"No the Danger Hiptop. He would be mad if I got him anything else." He frowned disaprovingly at you, "do you want him to be mad at his darling Doppy?"

"What? Oh, no, of course not. It's just that we recently renamed them to Sidekicks, because the old name was too funny for anyone to seriously say." You explained, ignoring that he said it twice, and his boss probably did also when he actually told him to buy it.

"Oh." Was all Doppio said. "I'm so sorry!" he burst into tears, and started crying on your shoulder. You awkwardly patted his back, wondering what was it this time.

"There, there, everything is fine." you told him.

"I'll never doubt you again!" he screamed out, "you're so kind to me, to Doppio! And I snapped at you over a silly misunderstanding!"

"...It's okay." How the fuck are you supposed to respond to that. Still, his eyes welled with even more tears.

"You're one of the only people who isn't an idiot in the world!" He clutched your shirt, "you're the only motherfucker in this town who can stand meeee!" he started wildly screaming and pounding your chest. It actually kinda hurt.

"Uh... anyway, what type of contract does he want? Your boss." you asked in hopes of distracting him. He stilled, stood back up straight, and stared lovingly into your eyes,

"I have no fucking idea!"

* * *

I LOVE DOPPIO SO MUCH THAT SWEET MAN I HOPE HES STILL VOICED BY AKIRA ISHIDA IN THE ANIME ALSO I WANT DIAVOLO TO BE RIKIYA KOYAMA BECAUSE HE WAS KIRA IN THE GAMES AND TOSHIYUKI MORIKAWA DID DIAVOLO IN THE GAMES AND KIRA IN THE ANIME THERES NOT VERY MUCH ROMANCE IN THIS ALSO BUT WHATEVER. I ALSO HAVE A GREAT IDEA FOR A BRUNO X READER SO COMMENT IF YOU WANT TO SEE THAT.


End file.
